It is 2:00am. Me and JD just got back from Dell Children's Hospital. Neely, Kat, and Josh are still there. Neely has been admitted (Round 4) to the PICU, and they're still running tests. Still waiting for labs... It's Thursday... (well, technically, Friday now). This always seems to happen on a Thursday.
Today was one of the scarier days... It's still scary. When JD and I left (JD not having slept in well over 24 hours), Neely was still groaning and moaning every time she drew breath... but apparently it was better than when she arrived by EMS... I'm gonna leave that to Kat to post about later...
I just wanted to talk about my sister. My sister is incredible. Today, I witnessed one of the most courageous acts I've ever seen. When the doctor first arrived to get Neely's history, Kat spoke. As she spoke with the doctor, the nurse and ER tech starting doing things to Neely that caused the most blood-curdling, agonizing screams I've ever heard come from anyone or anything. It was horrifying. And given that she already seemed so fragile and is mostly a happy baby, we were all visibly disturbed. Yet, through tears streaming down her face, Kat held it together and gave Neely's history in a way that none of us could. (I hope the Lucquete boys aren't offended when I say that Kat's the best talker among all of us.) You could hear Kat's heart break through each squeal and plea... but she handled the entire situation with an extraordinary grace under fire.
True, answering a doctor's questions shouldn't command a medal or anything... but imagine the thing or person you love most in the world screaming in a way that shakes you to your bones... and it is your every instinct to drop everything and offer even the tiniest bit of comfort. Imagine trying to hold your mind and your composure in the face of that insanity.
Maybe it's especially meaningful for me because I grew up with her. I'm not used to seeing that steadiness, especially under the most extreme circumstances. But she held it together. I feel like it held us together. It almost felt like a rallying cry. She didn't break, so no one else could.
Through this entire ordeal, my sister has amazed me. She's an amazing mother.
As for Neely... You look at Neely and marvel at how this seemingly fragile baby can withstand so much... and smile. My family is made of sturdy stuff. And I'm so beyond proud to be a part of it.
Other random thoughts...
- As unfortunate as this sounds, some of my fondest memories from all this are gonna be when me, Kat, Josh, and JD are standing around Neely's hospital bed bantering. We bring out the silly and the fun and the love in each other. The best laughs I've had lately are those times, and I hope we're not doing Neely a disservice when we surround her with laughter... Maybe we're just making up for lost time at the dinner table.
- Special thanks to Aunt Judy and Aunt/Nurse Caty for coming by tonight. Judy was at the ER with me and Kat before Neely, Josh and JD even showed up. As always, she brought some much-needed levity and tender loving care to a rough situation. Caty arrived a little later and stayed with us 'til around 1:00am. She's been my niece's guardian angel since Neely's NICU days, and it sure brings comfort to us that her guardian angel is one of the best nurses in the world.
- We're all very-much looking forward to the BBQ fundraiser. We are so very blessed to have friends doing this for us. I will try to post more about this later as every single email from Lori that Kat shows me about the event makes me so insanely happy.
"Thank you" will never be enough to the kind people that are helping us through this time. We wish we could do more to show our gratitude. Your kindness sustains us. Each thought and prayer. Each message and email. Each like and comment and donation... All of it helps us to face what's next. So, until we can do more, please know that we all thank you from the bottom of our hearts.